Maybe We Are Afraid of the Wrong Thing

This week, I went paragliding in Iceland.

I mentioned to one of my coaches that I was nervous watching some of the pilots climb so high. They seemed so far above the mountains that it almost looked impossible.

"I don't know if I ever want to be that high," I said.

He looked at me and simply asked one question.

"Why?"

I opened my mouth to answer... and nothing came out.

I searched for a reason. I wanted to explain why being thousands of feet in the air was obviously more dangerous.

But I couldn't.

Then he smiled.

"The higher you are," he said, "the safer you are."

I laughed.

He wasn't joking.

He explained that when you're higher, you have more options.

More time to think.

More time to react.

More time to throw your reserve parachute if something goes wrong.

More time to search for a better landing field.

More time to assess changing weather.

More time to make good decisions instead of rushed ones.

Altitude doesn't remove risk.

It creates opportunity.

And suddenly I realized something.

I had spent years assuming that "higher" automatically meant "more dangerous."

What if that's true in other parts of our lives?

How many of us are afraid of going higher in our careers because we assume there is more pressure?

Afraid of greater visibility because we think it means greater criticism?

Afraid of more responsibility because we believe it means more stress?

Afraid of more success because we're convinced it will cost us our peace?

Maybe we've accepted these ideas without ever asking ourselves the same question my coach asked me.

Why?

Not, "Why do you want to?"

But...

Why are you afraid?

Can we actually explain it?

Or have we simply inherited the belief that bigger equals scarier?

Sometimes it does.

But sometimes the opposite is true.

The CEO often has more freedom than the employee.

The experienced leader often has more confidence than the beginner.

The financially secure family often has more choices than the family living paycheck to paycheck.

The person with emotional maturity has more space between stimulus and response.

They all have something in common.

They have altitude.

They have options.

The higher they have climbed, the more time they have to think instead of react.

The more perspective they have.

The more choices available to them.

The issue I see often is when people do climb higher, the forget about the basics, and THAT is when they get in trouble! 

Maybe the thing we're trying so hard to avoid is actually the place where we become safer.

Not because life gets easier.

But because we become better equipped to navigate it.

I left that conversation realizing my fear wasn't based on evidence.

It was based on assumption.

And assumptions have a funny way of quietly directing our lives until someone asks one simple question.

Why?

Maybe it's worth asking ourselves:

Where am I avoiding going higher because I've convinced myself it's more dangerous?

What opportunity am I staying beneath because I confuse altitude with risk?

What dream, promotion, relationship, responsibility, or calling have I kept at arm's length because I assumed it would make life harder?

Perhaps the very thing we're afraid of isn't the danger.

Perhaps it's the perspective.

Because once we realize that higher often gives us more options, not fewer, we lose one more excuse to stay where we are.

Maybe we don't need to fear going higher.

Maybe we simply need to learn how to fly there.