Childish vs. Childlike: A Crucial Distinction for Authentic Leadership
I am reading, A Return To Love, by Marianne Williamson and loving it! She slightly breezes over the concept of, childish vs childlike and thought… now that is a good distinction! In the world of leadership, you have heard me say many times, words matter. Not simply the ones we say - also how we embody them.
One of those overlooked yet powerful distinctions is better understanding the difference between being childish and being childlike. The former can undermine our credibility; the latter can enhance our creativity, connection, and clarity. As leaders, knowing the difference - and acting on it - isn’t a luxury. It’s necessity.
What’s the Difference?
At first glance, childish and childlike might seem interchangeable. After all, both reference traits associated with children. Really though, in truth, they couldn’t be more different in meaning - or impact (and those of us who have kids, really know this).
Childish behavior is often reactive, ego-driven, and rooted in a lack of emotional regulation. It shows up as whining when things don’t go our way, blaming others, avoiding responsibility, or needing to be the center of attention. It’s immature.
Childlike behavior, on the other hand, is rooted in curiosity, wonder, playfulness, and openness. It’s the energy of exploration, imagination, and trust. It’s the joy of learning without judgment, of seeing the world with fresh eyes.
As leaders, I challenge us this week to ask ourselves: Which energy are we bringing into the room?
Why the Difference Matters in Leadership
Obviously leadership isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about setting the tone, asking powerful questions, and creating the environment where others can grow. And when we really think about it - childish leaders destroy trust, while childlike leaders inspire it.
Let’s break this down:
Childish leaders deflect blame. They point fingers. When something goes wrong, it’s someone else’s fault. However… Childlike leaders get curious. We ask, “What can we learn?” or “How can we improve?” We take ownership.
Childish leaders seek control. They micromanage and operate from fear. Yet… Childlike leaders invite collaboration. We are not afraid to play, to imagine, to create something better with our team.
Childish leaders need validation. Their self-worth is fragile and often tied to praise or power. And… Childlike leaders lead from purpose. Our worth is rooted in presence, not performance.
What Happens When We Lead Childlike?
When we tap into our childlike qualities as leaders, something incredible happens:
Innovation increases. Childlike minds ask “what if” instead of “what’s wrong.”
Culture deepens. Teams feel safer when their leader is open, playful, and real.
Resilience strengthens. Play brings perspective - and in leadership, perspective is power.
Being childlike doesn’t mean we abandon maturity. It means we return to innocence without sacrificing wisdom. It means bringing joy to the hard work, imagination to the strategy, and openness to the unknown.
How to Practice Being More Childlike (and Less Childish)
Ask “why?” more often. I know I share that we should ask HOW more, however, when it comes to being childlike we should go back to our roots when it comes to learning and asking not in judgment, rather in curiosity. Children ask why because they want to understand. So should we.
Play. Seriously. Whether it’s creativity in a whiteboard session or a five-minute team game, don’t underestimate the power of play.
Laugh. Humor builds trust. It connects us. If we can laugh at ourself, your team will trust us more.
Be real. Share our excitement. Show our wonder. Let people see the spark that drives us.
Practice emotional awareness. Recognize when we’re triggered and responding from a childish place. Pause, breathe, and choose better.
As leaders, the world doesn’t need us to be perfect. It needs us to be human. The difference between childish and childlike is the difference between ego and essence. One limits us. The other liberates us.
Let’s not lose the magic of being childlike in our pursuit of being professional. Let’s laugh more. Imagine more. Wonder more. And most of all, lead with a heart wide open.
Because the future belongs to those who stay curious.
(Main Photo: Me coming home at the age of 12 after feeding a baby cat I found on the street that my mom and dad were NOT so happy about, lol).