What If I Was Secure in All the Places I Feel Insecure?
A few days ago, this question landed in me and hasn’t let go, that also led me to some follow up questions...
What if I was secure in all the ways I feel insecure?
What would my life look like?
How would I feel in my body, my relationships, my work, my money, my choices?
Who would I be if insecurity no longer ran the room?
This isn’t a “fake it until you make it” thought experiment.
It’s not about pretending confidence, bypassing discomfort, or slapping affirmations over places that still hurt.
This is about something much quieter and much braver.
It’s about acknowledging exactly where we are and choosing to be secure there.
Security Isn’t the Absence of Insecurity
Most of us think security shows up after something changes:
After the body looks different
After the bank account grows
After the relationship stabilizes
After the title, the clarity, the certainty arrives
We tell ourselves, “When this is fixed, then I’ll feel secure.”
But what if security isn’t something we earn later?
What if it’s a way of standing with ourselves now?
Insecurity doesn’t mean something is wrong with us.
It means we’re human, evolving, and aware.
The issue isn’t that insecurity exists.
The issue is when insecurity becomes the narrator of our life.
What Security Actually Looks Like
Being secure doesn’t mean feeling confident all the time.
It looks more like:
Not abandoning ourselves when we’re unsure
Not shrinking or performing to be accepted
Not rushing to “fix” what’s still forming
Not apologizing for being in process
Security is the ability to say:
“This is where I am and I’m still worthy of respect, love, and trust.”
It’s being rooted enough to let life be unfinished.
What If I Was Secure in My Body Even as It Changes?
What if I didn’t wait for my body to look a certain way before treating it with respect?
What if security in my body meant listening instead of criticizing?
Moving because it feels good, not because I’m trying to earn approval.
Wearing clothes that fit who I am now, not who I think I should be.
The secure relationship with the body isn’t about loving it every day.
It’s about not being at war with it.
What If I Was Secure in My Finances Even Without Certainty?
What if money didn’t determine my worth, intelligence, or future?
What if security here meant being honest instead of ashamed?
Making grounded decisions instead of fear-driven ones?
Trusting that resourcefulness matters as much as resources?
Security doesn’t require abundance.
It requires self-trust while navigating uncertainty.
What If I Was Secure in My Relationships Even When They’re Complex?
What if I didn’t need to be chosen, validated, or reassured in order to stay whole?
What if security meant:
Speaking my truth without over-explaining
Letting others have their feelings without absorbing them
Allowing connection without losing myself
Secure people don’t control outcomes.
They stay connected to themselves no matter what unfolds.
This Isn’t About Becoming Someone Else
This question isn’t asking,
“Who could I pretend to be if I wasn’t insecure?”
It’s asking,
“Who am I when I stop fighting where I am?”
Security doesn’t erase growth.
It creates the conditions for it.
When we stop using insecurity as proof that we’re behind, broken, or failing,
we free up enormous energy to actually move forward.
The Different Kind of Power
Being secure in our insecurity doesn’t make us complacent.
It makes us honest.
And honesty is stable.
From that place:
Decisions get clearer
Boundaries get cleaner
Comparisons lose their grip
Life becomes less performative and more lived
So maybe the question isn’t,
“How do I get rid of my insecurity?”
Maybe the real question is:
“What would change if I stopped letting it define me?”
And maybe...
security begins the moment we stop requiring ourselves to be anywhere other than exactly where we are. Keep being THE!